Very bloody FAQ

Can you tell me anything about your advice columnist, Alan Canada? I can’t find out much about him online.

Hi, we’d love too but he’s an incredibly private person. He applied for the position via the internet, and all following correspondence has been over email. He presented us with a huge amount of advice-giving experience and we hired him immediately. Strangely, he refused payment. All he asked for was a ‘Staff discount on Merch’, even though we don’t have any, yet.

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